A guide for stay at home dads

In my 36 years of life, I have never met a guy that wanted to be a stay at home dad. It's understandable, our role models have always been hunter gatherer types. But with the economy what it is, more and more of us guys are realizing it's best to be at home. This blog chain is aimed to help guys make the transition.

To establish some street cred, I have to let you all know I'm a father of two boys ( 7 and almost 2). Both times my wife and I conceived I was gainfully employed, and for each birth I was very unemployed (both of my children were born in economic downturns). But what that means for you the reader is, this isn't my first rodeo if ya know what I mean.

My first piece of advice for you new to the position - get out as soon as you can. Take your kid(s) to a park. Go to the library. Immerse yourself in society. And try to do it before lunch, and if you can, again after lunch. There are a couple reasons why this is my first point. First of all, staying cooped up leads to massive emotional drama later in the day from both you and your little one(s). Second reason for getting out is you meet others like yourself. These other stay at home parents represent potential play dates, car pools, and my favorite - stimulating grown-up conversation.

Second piece of advice; don't break the routine. Kids find comfort in routine. Now that doesn't mean you have to do the exact same thing every day at the exact same time. The key is to have or create clear indicators that signify the next part of the routine. For instance, my mornings start with the Today Show. While I'm staying in touch with world issues and local weather, my sons are doing their morning routines. While I'm preparing lunch, I turn on the radio to the oldies station. After lunch, the radio is turned off and I read two books to my son which is his que to nap. And for dinner, I turn the radio to classical. These ques help my kids tell time, even if the time isn't exact from day to day and it makes my day so much more enjoyable.

Third piece of advice; hold your head up. Stay at home dad is an honorable position. You may not be bringing in the bacon like you used to, but you are providing a level of service that you can't put a price on. If you find yourself at a party and someone asks what you do, you may want to say something like "I used to be... and now I'm a stay at home dad." Or even, "I'm a stay at home dad while I look for a career in..." Both avenues allow you to discuss your experience in both corporate life and home life.

Which leads me to my fourth piece of advice; realize your title as stay at home dad is only a short term gig. Your kids will go to school. They will leave the house. Be sure you're not left with out-of-date skills, contacts and other relevant money making skills.

Fifth piece of advice; be a great spouse. When your wife comes home, meet her with a kiss and a smile. Have dinner ready and the house in reasonable order. Doing these simple things will create time for you and her to be together. That being said, I've been giving this blog some of the attention I should have been giving to my wife.

Add your thoughts and insights. I'd love to hear how a dad with girl(s) might agree or disagree compared to me with my 2 boys.