When I was a kid we spent all day outside. That's where all the kids were. We'd all ride our bikes around or find something to do. But these days, it seems the kids are too happy to be indoors. Or maybe it's their parents' fear of child predators... or maybe it's the TV, computer and video game system.
Milo, my 7 year old feels like I'm grounding him when I say he should play outside. He's so much happier to go outside if mom or dad are going to play with him. But since the birth of his baby brother, we just can't play like that all the time.
So one day, I was especially frustrated with his excuse after excuse for not going outside. I grabbed a pen, some paper and told the wife Milo and I were going out and we wouldn't be back for a while.
You see, I figured what he was missing was neighborhood friends and, gosh darnit, I was about to make some for him.
Milo and I went to every house in the neighborhood (well the ones that showed signs of having kids anyway) talking to parents. I explained that I was putting together a phone list of all the kids in the neighborhood who would like to be called for pickup games of baseball, tag, kick the can etc etc. It took the better part of the day, but when we were all done we had 60 kids on the list.
I typed it up that night and distributed it via email. I only listed the child's name, age, street name and phone number. To maintain privacy, no house numbers or last names were included on the list. I organized the list alphabetically by street name so there could be what I called Street Captains. If Milo wanted to get a game of baseball going, he could call one kid on each street and say "You're the street captain. You need to call the rest of the kids on your street and see who can play." Then the kids would walk/bike to and from the park together in groups created on their streets.
Every parent I met told me what a great idea it was. With that kind of affirmation, I was sure Milo would be playing outside every day from now on. A couple weeks went by and nothing happened. After some thought, I figured they're not calling each other because they don't know each other.
To solve this I, with the help of two neighborhood parents, called everyone on the list inviting them to the baseball field that Friday night for a game of kickball followed by a showing of "The Sandlot" projected on the backstop.
The night of the big event, one of those parents was able to borrow a projector from their work and the other brought all the white bed sheets and clothespins she had. 18 kids showed up for kickball, half of which didn't know how to play the game, but everyone had fun. At least I know I had fun. I was running around playing game master, instructing play, keeping score and whatnot. I hadn't intended to be that involved. I assumed kids plus ball plus field would run itself til the sun went down.
Thank goodness for those 2 parents who helped call everyone. While I was playing game master, they hung the bed sheets on the backstop and ran an extension cord to the projector. I was able to quickly rig a sound system with some home stereo equipment before it got too dark.
The event was a huge success. I can't tell you how many parents said something to the effect of let's do this every week. Unfortunately, I had plans for the rest of the summer but I vowed to do it earlier and more regularly next summer.
This winter, I emailed everyone on the list stating I was creating an hockey rink on the pond. I explained I would need help flooding it. I received dozens of responses but only two concerned the rink initiative. The others commented on the movie and wanted to know when the next neighborhood movie night might be.
So it seems in my attempt to get kids outdoors and away from watching a screen, I only achieved by creating a screen outdoors. How funny is that?
Friday, January 30, 2009
Shuffle up and deal
To maintain your sanity, you need to hang out with other adults. Baby talk and cartoons can drive you bonkers if you don't mix in some adult comradery.
Times are tough but we can still have fun. And when I say fun, I mean the manly kind of fun. Time to play Texas Clip'em, otherwise known as Texas Hold'em stay at home dad style.
Tell your other stay-at-home-parent friends to start clipping grocery coupons. $50.00 in coupons is a very easy goal to reach especially if you download and print em from sites like couponcabin.com. One tip; clip coupons you think the other players might want. Your $3.00 off diaper coupon might be worth $5 to the right player. For instance, I'd gladly agree that a $3 off jerky coupon meets my $10 off baby formula bet because I love jerky and no longer need formula.
If you don't know how to play Texas Hold'em, take a minute to look up the rules and print or write the most valuable hands in their ranking order. For what it's worth, you can play any kind of poker with coupons. The nice thing about hold'em is you can have lots of players in one game with a single deck of cards. And it's a hugely popular game right now.
Anyway, you can play this game almost any time. You could even play while the kids watch "Wall-E" or "Nemo" or whatever they're into these days. You don't have to play until there's a single winner - but you can. Just make sure at the end of the game to ask if anyone wants to trade coupons. That way everyone can walk away a winner.
Times are tough but we can still have fun. And when I say fun, I mean the manly kind of fun. Time to play Texas Clip'em, otherwise known as Texas Hold'em stay at home dad style.
Tell your other stay-at-home-parent friends to start clipping grocery coupons. $50.00 in coupons is a very easy goal to reach especially if you download and print em from sites like couponcabin.com. One tip; clip coupons you think the other players might want. Your $3.00 off diaper coupon might be worth $5 to the right player. For instance, I'd gladly agree that a $3 off jerky coupon meets my $10 off baby formula bet because I love jerky and no longer need formula.
If you don't know how to play Texas Hold'em, take a minute to look up the rules and print or write the most valuable hands in their ranking order. For what it's worth, you can play any kind of poker with coupons. The nice thing about hold'em is you can have lots of players in one game with a single deck of cards. And it's a hugely popular game right now.
Anyway, you can play this game almost any time. You could even play while the kids watch "Wall-E" or "Nemo" or whatever they're into these days. You don't have to play until there's a single winner - but you can. Just make sure at the end of the game to ask if anyone wants to trade coupons. That way everyone can walk away a winner.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
What to do when you can't go outside
In Minnesota, some days you just can't go out with the kids. Back to back 20 below zero days with even lower windchills just make it too dangerous to go out. So when you're stuck inside, make the best of it.
The best days for baking are cold days. Baking is a great opportunity to do some science and math with your kids as well as keep your house warm and smelling good. My oldest is getting a grasp of fractions because of cooking with dad. 1 1/2 cups is easier to understand when you can visualize it as 1 cup plus a half cup. The point is there are lots of avenues to take math out of the classroom and make it applicable to everyday activities. And having a heat-and-serve casserole or two on hand is so nice on days you don't have time to cook.
Baking is only going to hold their attention for the mixing of ingredients portion. So what I do while things are cooking in the oven is make couch cushion forts. Anyone can make arts & crafts or play board games, but it takes a big strapping dad to rearrange the living room. So once all the furniture is out of the way, pull the cushions off and stand them on their sides to form walls. Grab a bed sheet or a comforter and throw it over the walls to make a roof. The kids will have fun going in and out, filling it with their pillows and stuffed toys then wrecking it and rebuilding it. Oh, a little heads up, they also tend to jump on the furniture with the missing cushions as if they're trampolines. Anyway, the fort frees you up to tend to baked goods in the oven.
Before you put the room back together, you might want to try what I call Cirque De Dad. It's a great work out for me and I'm sure the kids get a workout just from laughing so hard. This is where you give your kids airplane rides and carefully let them land on the cushions. Lay on your back and have your kids get your feet and do leg presses. Or hold them in your hands and do bench presses. Just make sure if they happen to lean too far that they fall onto a soft cushion. Flip on your stomach and have the kids sit on your shoulders while you do push ups. Get creative but always be cautious. The physical activity is fun but can easily lead to a bruise or worse. Which can be a great opportunity to have the "rub some spit (or dirt) on it," "scars add character," "chicks dig scars" or my personal favorite talk, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
Make your wife AND kids happy: tackle the honey-do list. Get out the tool box and have your kids re-organize it. Undoubtedly, they'll have questions about what a tool is called or what it's for. And if you're anything like me, you've got something on your honey-do list that's just the perfect place to demonstrate what that tool is for and why it's called what it is. Try and have your kids do as much as safely possible. And make sure the tools get put away when the project is finished.
Ok by now you're probably needing to do some less active things. Like I said earlier, anyone can do arts & crafts or play board games but it takes a dad to teach his kid(s) poker. I taught my oldest how to play poker when he was 5. He learned suits and card values from other games so it wasn't all that hard to teach poker. I still have to make a list of what hands beat what hands but he understands that hands beat hands because of odds. Five card draw is his game of choice. Anyway, we started out betting potato chips and M&Ms. Now he likes to toss in the occasionaly family chore. "I'll see your green M&Ms and raise you doin the dishes for a week." I gotta say, he's learned to bet only what he's willing to lose. And I'm proud of him for honoring his bets. A word of caution here, after teaching my son poker, I am a firm believer in beginner's luck. Straight, flush, royal flush and four of a kind... he's had 'em all and one time, all in one game.
Last thing I can suggest for something only dad can do with his kids. Do something mom wouldn't. I was 4 when the movie Star Wars came out and my parents took me to see it. They warned me it might be scary, and if it was too scary we could leave the theater at any time. When my son was 5, I thought time for the boy to learn about the force, but the wife had a different opinion. "...too much fighting, and Darth will give him nightmares." Well, he didn't get nightmares nor did any of the kids at his school. We seemed to have watched it at just the right time. Seems some animated version of Clone Wars was becoming popular. All the kids were talking about and my son was happy to be able to chime in.
Enjoy being a stay at home dad. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The best days for baking are cold days. Baking is a great opportunity to do some science and math with your kids as well as keep your house warm and smelling good. My oldest is getting a grasp of fractions because of cooking with dad. 1 1/2 cups is easier to understand when you can visualize it as 1 cup plus a half cup. The point is there are lots of avenues to take math out of the classroom and make it applicable to everyday activities. And having a heat-and-serve casserole or two on hand is so nice on days you don't have time to cook.
Baking is only going to hold their attention for the mixing of ingredients portion. So what I do while things are cooking in the oven is make couch cushion forts. Anyone can make arts & crafts or play board games, but it takes a big strapping dad to rearrange the living room. So once all the furniture is out of the way, pull the cushions off and stand them on their sides to form walls. Grab a bed sheet or a comforter and throw it over the walls to make a roof. The kids will have fun going in and out, filling it with their pillows and stuffed toys then wrecking it and rebuilding it. Oh, a little heads up, they also tend to jump on the furniture with the missing cushions as if they're trampolines. Anyway, the fort frees you up to tend to baked goods in the oven.
Before you put the room back together, you might want to try what I call Cirque De Dad. It's a great work out for me and I'm sure the kids get a workout just from laughing so hard. This is where you give your kids airplane rides and carefully let them land on the cushions. Lay on your back and have your kids get your feet and do leg presses. Or hold them in your hands and do bench presses. Just make sure if they happen to lean too far that they fall onto a soft cushion. Flip on your stomach and have the kids sit on your shoulders while you do push ups. Get creative but always be cautious. The physical activity is fun but can easily lead to a bruise or worse. Which can be a great opportunity to have the "rub some spit (or dirt) on it," "scars add character," "chicks dig scars" or my personal favorite talk, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
Make your wife AND kids happy: tackle the honey-do list. Get out the tool box and have your kids re-organize it. Undoubtedly, they'll have questions about what a tool is called or what it's for. And if you're anything like me, you've got something on your honey-do list that's just the perfect place to demonstrate what that tool is for and why it's called what it is. Try and have your kids do as much as safely possible. And make sure the tools get put away when the project is finished.
Ok by now you're probably needing to do some less active things. Like I said earlier, anyone can do arts & crafts or play board games but it takes a dad to teach his kid(s) poker. I taught my oldest how to play poker when he was 5. He learned suits and card values from other games so it wasn't all that hard to teach poker. I still have to make a list of what hands beat what hands but he understands that hands beat hands because of odds. Five card draw is his game of choice. Anyway, we started out betting potato chips and M&Ms. Now he likes to toss in the occasionaly family chore. "I'll see your green M&Ms and raise you doin the dishes for a week." I gotta say, he's learned to bet only what he's willing to lose. And I'm proud of him for honoring his bets. A word of caution here, after teaching my son poker, I am a firm believer in beginner's luck. Straight, flush, royal flush and four of a kind... he's had 'em all and one time, all in one game.
Last thing I can suggest for something only dad can do with his kids. Do something mom wouldn't. I was 4 when the movie Star Wars came out and my parents took me to see it. They warned me it might be scary, and if it was too scary we could leave the theater at any time. When my son was 5, I thought time for the boy to learn about the force, but the wife had a different opinion. "...too much fighting, and Darth will give him nightmares." Well, he didn't get nightmares nor did any of the kids at his school. We seemed to have watched it at just the right time. Seems some animated version of Clone Wars was becoming popular. All the kids were talking about and my son was happy to be able to chime in.
Enjoy being a stay at home dad. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A guide for stay at home dads
In my 36 years of life, I have never met a guy that wanted to be a stay at home dad. It's understandable, our role models have always been hunter gatherer types. But with the economy what it is, more and more of us guys are realizing it's best to be at home. This blog chain is aimed to help guys make the transition.
To establish some street cred, I have to let you all know I'm a father of two boys ( 7 and almost 2). Both times my wife and I conceived I was gainfully employed, and for each birth I was very unemployed (both of my children were born in economic downturns). But what that means for you the reader is, this isn't my first rodeo if ya know what I mean.
My first piece of advice for you new to the position - get out as soon as you can. Take your kid(s) to a park. Go to the library. Immerse yourself in society. And try to do it before lunch, and if you can, again after lunch. There are a couple reasons why this is my first point. First of all, staying cooped up leads to massive emotional drama later in the day from both you and your little one(s). Second reason for getting out is you meet others like yourself. These other stay at home parents represent potential play dates, car pools, and my favorite - stimulating grown-up conversation.
Second piece of advice; don't break the routine. Kids find comfort in routine. Now that doesn't mean you have to do the exact same thing every day at the exact same time. The key is to have or create clear indicators that signify the next part of the routine. For instance, my mornings start with the Today Show. While I'm staying in touch with world issues and local weather, my sons are doing their morning routines. While I'm preparing lunch, I turn on the radio to the oldies station. After lunch, the radio is turned off and I read two books to my son which is his que to nap. And for dinner, I turn the radio to classical. These ques help my kids tell time, even if the time isn't exact from day to day and it makes my day so much more enjoyable.
Third piece of advice; hold your head up. Stay at home dad is an honorable position. You may not be bringing in the bacon like you used to, but you are providing a level of service that you can't put a price on. If you find yourself at a party and someone asks what you do, you may want to say something like "I used to be... and now I'm a stay at home dad." Or even, "I'm a stay at home dad while I look for a career in..." Both avenues allow you to discuss your experience in both corporate life and home life.
Which leads me to my fourth piece of advice; realize your title as stay at home dad is only a short term gig. Your kids will go to school. They will leave the house. Be sure you're not left with out-of-date skills, contacts and other relevant money making skills.
Fifth piece of advice; be a great spouse. When your wife comes home, meet her with a kiss and a smile. Have dinner ready and the house in reasonable order. Doing these simple things will create time for you and her to be together. That being said, I've been giving this blog some of the attention I should have been giving to my wife.
Add your thoughts and insights. I'd love to hear how a dad with girl(s) might agree or disagree compared to me with my 2 boys.
To establish some street cred, I have to let you all know I'm a father of two boys ( 7 and almost 2). Both times my wife and I conceived I was gainfully employed, and for each birth I was very unemployed (both of my children were born in economic downturns). But what that means for you the reader is, this isn't my first rodeo if ya know what I mean.
My first piece of advice for you new to the position - get out as soon as you can. Take your kid(s) to a park. Go to the library. Immerse yourself in society. And try to do it before lunch, and if you can, again after lunch. There are a couple reasons why this is my first point. First of all, staying cooped up leads to massive emotional drama later in the day from both you and your little one(s). Second reason for getting out is you meet others like yourself. These other stay at home parents represent potential play dates, car pools, and my favorite - stimulating grown-up conversation.
Second piece of advice; don't break the routine. Kids find comfort in routine. Now that doesn't mean you have to do the exact same thing every day at the exact same time. The key is to have or create clear indicators that signify the next part of the routine. For instance, my mornings start with the Today Show. While I'm staying in touch with world issues and local weather, my sons are doing their morning routines. While I'm preparing lunch, I turn on the radio to the oldies station. After lunch, the radio is turned off and I read two books to my son which is his que to nap. And for dinner, I turn the radio to classical. These ques help my kids tell time, even if the time isn't exact from day to day and it makes my day so much more enjoyable.
Third piece of advice; hold your head up. Stay at home dad is an honorable position. You may not be bringing in the bacon like you used to, but you are providing a level of service that you can't put a price on. If you find yourself at a party and someone asks what you do, you may want to say something like "I used to be... and now I'm a stay at home dad." Or even, "I'm a stay at home dad while I look for a career in..." Both avenues allow you to discuss your experience in both corporate life and home life.
Which leads me to my fourth piece of advice; realize your title as stay at home dad is only a short term gig. Your kids will go to school. They will leave the house. Be sure you're not left with out-of-date skills, contacts and other relevant money making skills.
Fifth piece of advice; be a great spouse. When your wife comes home, meet her with a kiss and a smile. Have dinner ready and the house in reasonable order. Doing these simple things will create time for you and her to be together. That being said, I've been giving this blog some of the attention I should have been giving to my wife.
Add your thoughts and insights. I'd love to hear how a dad with girl(s) might agree or disagree compared to me with my 2 boys.
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