Sounds like big league ball

The playoffs are just around the corner and I have had some time to reflect on my oldest son's first season of real baseball. Well, it was real baseball in the sense that there were three outs and strikes, even though there were 5 strikes allowed per bat appearance.

Around here, kids get 2 to 3 years of t-ball slash coach-pitch before going on to one year of machine pitch and after that, the kids pitch to kids.

After one year of coach-pitch I recognized my son was a little more advanced in baseball than of the many kids in his league. So I cheated the system a hair and lied about his grade in order to move him up to machine pitch. Machine pitch is a developmental league where they go over the fundamentals and more importantly, runs and outs mean something whereas previous years teams switched sides every six batters and runs and outs had no consequence. Well, moving him up worked out wonderfully and he gets another year of machine pitch whereas the kids he played with will go on to kid pitch.

Anyway, my future big leaguer is urging me to be a coach after and I've been thinking how I could top his first year. His team went to the championship game and lost by one run. Actually, I thought it was fortunate to come in 2nd place in the first year in organized ball. It leaves the kids hungry and I'm sure it will drive them to try just that much harder in the years to come.

Over the course of the developmental league season, I noticed the coaches constantly barking out the same things. "Force at one," "force at two," "force at any bag," and other vital pieces of communication. So I had this idea that instead of hearing these commands over and over, it would be fun to hear things you would hear at a major league game. "Programs! Get your programs here!" and "Peanuts, popcorn.. Cracker Jacks!" Imagine the other teams' reactions to hearing coaches calling out "Lemonade.. Lemonade.. Just like Grandma made!"

To make this work, you would have to call these commands while practicing the plays so the kids knew instinctively what it meant come game time. Here's what these coded commands could be:

Klondike.. alerting the catcher there's a pop-up he can catch for an out.

Cotton Candy... Make the easiest or closest out, even at home plate.

Hot Apple Pie (in the sky).. letting the runners know to stay close to the bag in case of pop up

Peanuts, Popcorn, Cracker Jacks.. Force out at 1st, 2nd, or 3rd

Lemonade, Lemonade...There are two outs and runners need to be running on contact

Cold beer here! Telling the runner on 2nd he should be looking to go home if ball goes to outfield (2nd graders like to slide into every bag for some reason).

Well, I could go on and on but to keep things from getting too complicated I'll start with these. If they work well, I'll expand into "Foam Fingers" and "Souvenirs!"

Lessons from 2nd Grade

I can remember going back to school like it was yesterday. Having a backpack full of new pencils, markers, notebooks and folders. New clothes including a pair of new shoes I was positive would help me out run everyone at recess. The memories are so vivid that I was a bit shocked I'd forgotten so much about the first few days of school.

First of all, it's okay to be walked to the door - but only on the first day. I remembered this rule the second day as my child ran off ahead of me as if the principal was handing out free candy. I followed from a distance just to make sure he reached school grounds safely, but trying to convey complete confidence in my child, I told the parents I was walking with that, "I just want to show his little brother where big brother is going." They must have bought it because the walked with me.

Second, a brown bag lunch is better than pizza day on the first days of school. When I was a kid, we had to buy tickets to buy a lunch. Now days the kids have a secret number they enter. It's a much better system. No concerns your child is going to lose the money on the way to school or spend it on something else. But not all kids are as good at remembering the code as my son. So while the cashier was looking through her book of codes to make sure each kid's account was being billed correctly, my son's lunch time was being cut shorter and shorter.

He came home that day with an appetite that frightened me. In between mouthfuls he told me he was at the end of the lunch line and every kid in front of him had forgotten their code. He managed to get a bite of his cheeseburger before the lunch time is over bell rang.

Third lesson, you can never have too much facial tissue. Maybe it's allergies or maybe it's being exposed to so many other nose pickers, but for some reason in those first days of school my boy's nose is like the Terminator. You can blow it out but it just keeps coming back again and again. With that kind of relentless tenacity, the couple of tissues I tucked into his pocket were exhausted before recess. And despite donating a couple boxes of Kleenex to the class, my son wasn't about to call attention to himself by going up to the desk to grab some. Oh no, it was so much more discrete to continually touch his nose to his short sleeve shirt. He came home looking like he walked through a paintball battlefield.

The last lesson - the alarm clock goes off earlier and earlier. That first day of school, my son was fed, dressed and polished a full hour before school started. The second day it he had a few minutes of free time before heading out. And the third day, I was almost sure he was going to be late. My wife and I were trying to adjust his bed time so he was getting up and going to bed in a cycle that was natural for him. For future reference, don't make any adjustments to sleep schedule at least for the first few weeks.

It's recommended that school agers get 10 hours of sleep - and that's actual sleep, not just time in bed. So allowing for the bed time routine, the time to fall asleep and the wake-up routine, you'll probably end up starting the night time routine about 12 hours before school starts.

It's been 30 years or so since I was in elementary school, but as this article demonstrates, I'm still learning lessons from 2nd grade.

babies are da bomb

When we brought home our first baby we might as well brought home one of those motion sensitive explosives you see in the movies. You know, where if someone moves too quickly the whole place goes kablooey? Usually there's a click and then someone spots blinking light or a hears an ever increasing beep beep. The baby equivalent is a persistent scream that seems to get exponentially louder the longer it goes on.

My wife read all the books about what to expect so she was completely prepared to defuse any situation, or so she thought. I, on the other hand, had not read the books and instead relied completely on parental instincts handed down from years of evolution.

Anyway, once your infant is home things are pretty relaxed. Baby sleeps a lot. Sure there are the normal cries for food or diaper changes. But sometimes you can't stop the wailing with food or fresh pants.

As the crying gets louder and goes on longer things get a little more frantic. Your baby seems to be trying to tell you something like, "Cut the blue wire! Blue wire!" But you don't understand, so you check the diaper again. Change the outfit. Offer some milk. Check the milk to see if it's the right temperature. Shake the baby rattle. Give some medicine for gas. Hold baby on shoulder. Lay baby on back. Lay baby on tummy. Wonder if you can give Tylenol in conjunction with gas medicine. Sing. Sing a different song (Take me out to the ballgame is just as good as any lullabye in this situation). Maybe baby doesn't like the words so, hum. All the while the screaming persists and you feel the fuse is lit fuse and approaching its payload fast.

Somehow, miraculously I discovered my first born found the sound of running water soothing. Whew! And when baby number two began to scream "BLUE WIRE" I went straight to the running water only find it was the bathroom fan that defused him.

I knew the running water was a temporary fix and I was going to need to make a calming mechanism for him. One day during a nap I took some multi-colored Christmas lights and pinned them to the ceiling in a decorative pattern above the rocking chair. Each night, momma would rock baby to sleep and he would just stare at the lights and the lights became an alternative to the running water.

My second born found lights not to be soothing but exciting instead. A bigger problem with him was that sometimes he would get all agitated on the changing table. Often throwing a fit, kicking his feet, twisting about, putting his hands in the last place you would want and generally being uncooperative.

To contaminate the volatile situation, I took a page from my dentist. On ceiling over the patient's chairs my dentist has placed "really busy" posters so they can look at something while work is being done. My toddler still has his undersea poster above his changing table. While I change him, I ask him to count the fish, the turtles, dolphins etc.

So if you're unclear which wire your baby is telling you to cut, remain calm. Take a page out of my manual. Put some eye candy on the ceiling. Sing the baseball anthem. Get a mouthful of water and do your impression of a whale. Wear a diaper on your head. Get as silly as you have to. Just know the episode will likely pass as quickly as it came on.

Of course if it does persist, call your doctor and never, ever shake the baby.

Pushing and letting go - Or - When the training wheels are off.

For my son's 5th birthday, we bought him his first bike. Compared to my first bike, a hand-me-down from my aunt outfitted with a banana seat, ape-hanger handle bars with pink and white streamers, his bike was greased lightning. His ride - royal blue, neon green, flame details, pads in all the right places, a water bottle and a racing number displayed in front. Any boy's dream bike right?

Well, the boy upon seeing the gift, hopped on for a photo-opp. We captured the huge smile and the excitement and then, as he was dismounting, he caught a foot and went splat, palms flat on the pavement. At that moment, the bike became a monster and I wished I'd have bought a Razor Scooter instead of a bike (more on this later).

He still had plenty of time to conquer his fear of the bike, so we didn't push the issue. The following year, shortly before his 6th birthday, his interest in riding picked up when he saw his friends riding without training wheels. He decided it was time to slay the beast... well, at least ride it with training wheels on.

A few weeks of riding with training wheels, and I thought he was ready to have the cheaters off. The training wheels may have comforted him but they worried me terribly. Steering with training wheels makes the rider top-heavy and there's a likelihood of catching a wheel in a groove.

The more I pushed learning to ride the bike, the harder he refused. I tried reasoning, "...look at all the people riding bike. I wonder why they do it? Probably because it's fun." I tried bribing, "if we do 15 minutes of bike, we'll have Dairy Queen." We even witnessed a kid taking a spill and getting right back on to ride away, "wow, must be really fun if he wants to get back on after a digger like that."

Another year passed.

My neighbor has a boy younger than my oldest and I saw him riding on two wheels. I asked his dad how he taught his son to ride. He said he didn't. He bought his son a Razor Scooter the year prior and that's where he learned to balance. One day he just picked up the bike and rode it. This was the 2nd time I had heard the Razor Scooter was the key to learning bike so I knew it wasn't a fluke.

So I ask my boy "ever tried one of those scooters." Silence. " What do you say we go get one of those fancy Razor Scooters? "No thanks."

The better part of summer passed and finally, I had enough. I made him practice on back the lawn 15 minutes a day. Somedays he just sat on the bike not really trying - just doing "his time." I think once he realized I wasn't pushing him to ride, or in other terms, I "let go" of caring so much he began to try.

Of course I was pretending not to care. I was watching the whole time; biting my tongue trying not to encourage or help.

After a bit I realized his struggles were steering in rough grass and keeping both feet on the pedals on bumpy ground. It was time to take him to the outdoor basketball court. He was terrified of going ker-plat on the pavement, but I showed him he could go into the grass if he felt he was losing control or wanted to stop.

On the walk to the park, I held on to the bike as he rode. He began to pedal and I released my control of the bike, keeping my hands near his torso until I felt he had "it." Before we even reached the basketball court, my son was riding unassisted.

As predicted, he loves riding. Can't get him off the bike now.

But for all the grief he put me through, I'm definitely getting a Razor Scooter for my next up-and-coming riders.

After it was all said and done. He wouldn't have got on the bike if I hadn't pushed the issue. And he wouldn't have learned to ride it if I hadn't let go.

The potty chair and the psychiatrist's couch

Short of having the throne with a sports, cars or BBQ theme, the dad's spin on potty training will have to wait 'til we're ready to "AIM AND FIRE!" For right now, it's about getting him to listen to what his body is saying.

With my oldest son, the advice was to "... just wait, don't rush it. He'll catch on when he's ready." Whatever. That advice had us in diapers forever. My toddler is able to tell me what he wants through gestures or nearly undecipherable words- clear signs he's ready to learn the wonders of indoor plumbing.

Follow my logic here. Your kid has known diapers since moments after birth. The longer he or she remains in diapers, the harder it will be to train them to use the toilet. The earlier you introduce the throne to him or her, the easier the transition should go.

Step 1, get out the chair and let the kid see it. Don't force anything, just let it be there as if it were any piece of furniture. Don't even call attention to it. Let the child discover it and when he does, say something like "that's for you when you're ready." It may be sitting out months before you're ready to take the next step, but the fewer things that are new and freaky to him, the better.

Step 2 in my process was to pull out the fun potty training videos. I highly recommend the potty training video "Bear in the Big Blue House." Anyway, my toddler watched that video over and over again - not because the subject matter was so riveting, but because it was new to him. Something must have stuck, because taking to the chair was fairly easy. After about 2 weeks of that video, we we're ready to take the next steps.

Step 3 is placing the reward. My toddler is a freak for fruit snacks so I bought a box and placed it in the bathroom in a highly visible but unreachable place. My friend says she used a jar of M&M's. Whatever trips your kid's trigger right?

Step 4 is taking notice of your child's natural rythm and tendencies. Does your kid need new diapers before or after eating, sleeping and waking? Those are good times to try the chair.

I began to notice his diapers were fairly dry in the morning comparatively and thought I'd set him up for success by placing him on the john when he potentially would go. Well, he didn't produce anything that first time, but I rewarded him with a fruit snack for trying. The next morning, he told me his word for fruit snack (sounds like bean - don't ask me why) and so I sat him on the chair again and viola! A few high fives all around and the all important fruit snack reward and I could see the light at the end of the diaper tunnel.

Potty training is a big deal. If done poorly, there's a real danger in emotionally scarring your child for life. If you don't want your child seeking psychiatric help well into his adulthood because of the potty training phase, appreciate the tiniest steps forward. Just sitting on the chair without producing anything is a monumental step forward. Heck, even having an accident is a sign your child is on his way to becoming potty trained.

One last thing, appreciate that your kid is in diapers, because soon as he's in big boy underpants, that little bladder has to go ALL the time.

Crime & Punishment

If we didn't love our kids we would let them do whatever they wanted. But since we want the best for them, we guide and teach.

For the first few years, the timeout was working. But now that my son is a school ager, I've abandoned the time-out in favor of a method I've developed myself.

I call it the SvS method or Smart versus Strong method. Here's the logic behind it. It seems really smart kids are rarely the most physically fit and vice versa - the most physically fit kids are rarely the sharpest knives in the drawer. This disciple technique aims to create balance.

For instance, my oldest son is very smart for his age, but physically a bit behind his age group. So when it comes to his crimes of the mind, he's sentence is push-ups, sit-ups and deep knee bends. If he makes a crime of the body, such as beating up his little brother, he has to tell me different ways he could have handled the situation.

The timeout method says to give the kid one minute solitary for every year of life. 2 years old = 2 minutes timeout. I've adopted the same ratio for the SvS. For every year of life there's a push-up, sit-up, deep knee bend and alternative method of conduct.

I will say this, as opposed to grounding or long sustained punishments - like no something for a week - this method is quick and so far it's showing promise. My son is finding the excercises are getting easier to do - so that's nice. And the alternative methods we talk through are helping him discover there is more than one way to skin a little brother.

winning the vegetable war

Milo had to be about Liam's age when he categorically refused to eat anything of color. We call it the "White Menu Phase." Turkey, chicken, rice, mashed potatoes, pears and apples were about the only things he would eat.

Liam has had his own phases. One included only eating round things - peas, blueberries, KIX cereal and cheese balls. But recently, Liam has begun to expel certain foods. He puts them in his mouth, chews them, then spits them into his hand and hands the whole mess to you. He'll then put more of the item in his mouth and repeat the process. You have to admire his optimism that the next bite may be better than the previous twelve. 

We had a bit of an advantage with Milo because he was talking (and very well I might add) which meant we could negotiate. "Eat two carrots and after dinner you can have ice cream," (vanilla of course). Slowly and painfully, his pallete expanded. But since Liam isn't as advanced verbally, we had to resort to more creative methods.

We had a big break through after discovering Jerry Seinfeld's wife's cookbook, "Deceptively Delicious." Her whole system of blending vegetables into foods kids eat is a bit too elaborate for me (seriously, who wants to spend a day each week pureeing egg plant and squash). So I took the basic principles of it and modified them. For starters, I decided to skip the blending and pureeing and freezing steps, and went for the frozen equivalents in the grocer's freezer isle. For initial test, I thought I'd try frozen, pureed squash and chopped spinach. 

To see if this whole approach was worth it, I decided to make Sneaky Mac & Cheese. And even without pureeing my own fresh squash, it was a giant success. My oldest noticed a difference but said it wasn't bad. And to be honest, I hate squash but found when blended in, it's not so bad.  

To make Mac N Cheese Supree (that's French for surprise), the first thing to do is, buy a different brand of Mac & Cheese. Jerry's wife says to leave the box visible when serving it so if there's a noticeable difference in taste it will be attributed to the new brand. Next, cut a frozen 12 oz package of squash in half or thirds (a good serrated knife works fine). Make Mac & Cheese as instructed. Nuke the frozen squash for a min or two 'til mostly thawed while pasta boils. Add the squash when you add the milk, butter and cheese powder. Viola'!

Spinach has a few more options. I add half a frozen package to spaghetti and lasagna. And I slice a half inch off the frozen block and sprinkle on frozen pizzas or breakfast items like omelets and messes. A mess is much like a skillet breakfast but its recipe varies depending on what leftovers you have in the fridge that can plausibly pass for breakfast ingredients. Basically scrambled eggs, potatoes, said spinach, salami (MmmMmm salami), cheese and whatever else you feel like.

These few recipes have eliminated a lot of stress (and mess) from our family meal time. Hope they help with your picky eaters.

Making Tiger Woods

When it comes to baseball, Milo has some mad skills. He's textbook perfect when fielding grounders and fly balls. Makes the across the body catches look easy. He bats left for power and right for average. And he's not even 8 years old.

The moment that fueled this passion for America's game - The Minnesota Twins '06 season. He was approaching his 5th birthday and our home town 9 were way back in the pennant race. Like so far back they were pretty much written out of the postseason half way through the regular season. Despite all odds, they made a monumental comeback and won the Central Division that year.

But let's not get too far ahead of ourselves... So it's nearing the end of the regular season. The Twins have come back from like 12.5 games back and are contending for the division title. I'm totally riveted to the drama. Memories of the '87 and '91 World Series flashed in my head.

Milo had no idea any this was going on. All he wanted was my attention. We'd color or do puzzles or play dinosaurs but always within sight of the game. In the middle of said play, there would be some spectacular play and I'd cheer. Uhm, that's a bit of an understatement. Yeah, I cheered the kind of cheer that would make you say you didn't know me.

Anyway, I have this theory that in order to get my attentionhe decided he was going to have to be a professional baseball player. My theory stems from my own experience with my father.

My father's passion for golf is what inspired me to go into advertising. When he wasn't on the course, he was watching it on TV. Watching golf is not like watching baseball. It's more of a quiet sport, so even watching it is more quiet. Dad was in the zone when he was watching golf. The only signs of life came during commercials. He'd laugh at a beer commercial. I'm no psychologist but I'm pretty sure I made a career choice from a desire to make dad laugh.

When I asked Milo what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said not surprisingly, he wanted to be a Minnesota Twin. For his 6th birthday, I got him a glove. A nice, soft Wilson A200. Every night after dinner, weather permitting, he and I would play catch in the backyard til the sun went down. He loves to catch pop flies so I would tell him, "I'll throw sky-high pop flies all night after you catch 10 (insert catch here. ex. cross-over catches)." Obviously, it worked.

I don't know if this adds more validity to my theory, only time will tell, but when Milo and I were playing catch, baby Liam would be inside pounding on the sliding glass door vying for my attention. Not that unusual I suppose, but here's where even Rod Serling would be a little freaked out. Liam's first word was "ball."

do do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do do ( <--that's Twilight Zone theme music)

Like father like son.

I'm four years old or so and having a serious conversation with my parents. Dad is visibly upset. The subject matter seems eerily familiar.

Mom asks, "Where do we draw?"

I'm dumbfounded. "Wow, if she doesn't know the answer, my future is in serious jeopardy."

Thankfully, she answers her own question, "On paper."

I nod in agreement. "Oh yeah.. paper," I think to myself.

We had had this conversation before, but ususally it occurred in front of a wall. Naturally, I was a bit confused. I mean, technically I hadn't been drawing. I was carving. Tic Tac Toe in my dad's dresser. And despite my best efforts, all the games ended in a tie.

I was too young to be punished. But I remember feeling bad. Or maybe it was that the whole ordeal was told over and over to everyone. Grandmas, aunts and uncles all heard what I had done. I heard mom tell every detail over the phone.

Years later, had to be somewhere in my early teens, I had committed another offense of some sort. This time dad was there to discipline. To be honest, I forget what I actually did, but I remember his words vividly. Probably because he was laughing.

He had tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. Totally not the typical reaction to an obvious infraction.

"One day, you'll have kids" he said, "and they will put you through so much more than you're putting me through right now."

A few decades later, those words would ring all too true.

It's Halloween night. As usual, we're hosting a small gathering. My wife has to work late so dinner, the kids and all the decorations are my responsibility. My first born is old enough to carve his first pumpkin. We draw a simple design on the gourd of his choice. To keep the markers away from the baby, I tuck the markers in my back pocket.

There's a lot to do, so for dinner, I decide to have pizza from a take 'n bake. My youngest, discouraged that he can't carve his own jacko-lantern wanders into the living room and throws a fit. My oldest is progressing nicely with his carving and then we hear a loud crash.

The baby had managed to pull the stereo off the shelf. I don't know how he did it but thanfully, he managed to not get hurt. While I'm putting the stereo back on the shelf, the oven timer goes off. I've got stereo parts in each hand and dinner is about to burn to a crisp. I get the stereo back on the shelf, rush to the oven, pull the pie out and cut it immediately.

That's when I realize the quiet. It's the loudest quiet I've ever heard. You have to be a parent to understand this quiet. It's an ominous quiet. Like you're in dream. Or like in movies where there's some heavy handed foreshadowing.

I walk out to the living room and there's my baby, next to my wife's favorite chair. Seems innocent enough, then it hits me like a meteor. He is drawing on my wife's favorite chair!

In the time it took me to remove a pizza from the oven and cut it, he had managed to tag every visible surface of the chair. But where'd he get a permanent marker? We're normally so careful about keeping them locked up... I reach into my back pocket and realize I had been pick pocketed by an 18 month old! It must have happened while I was putting the stereo back together.

I should be mad, but I'm not. I'm laughing the deepest, belly laugh -the kind of laugh that brings a smile across your face, warms your heart and makes you cry.

That day, dad's words rang too true not to laugh.

We still have the chair prominently displayed in our living room. And my youngest points at his contributions to the chair now and again, smiling proudly. I smile right back at him all the while knowing one day, when he has kids of his own, Karma will likely have him in histarics.

Outdoor indoor

When I was a kid we spent all day outside. That's where all the kids were. We'd all ride our bikes around or find something to do. But these days, it seems the kids are too happy to be indoors. Or maybe it's their parents' fear of child predators... or maybe it's the TV, computer and video game system.

Milo, my 7 year old feels like I'm grounding him when I say he should play outside. He's so much happier to go outside if mom or dad are going to play with him. But since the birth of his baby brother, we just can't play like that all the time.

So one day, I was especially frustrated with his excuse after excuse for not going outside. I grabbed a pen, some paper and told the wife Milo and I were going out and we wouldn't be back for a while.

You see, I figured what he was missing was neighborhood friends and, gosh darnit, I was about to make some for him.

Milo and I went to every house in the neighborhood (well the ones that showed signs of having kids anyway) talking to parents. I explained that I was putting together a phone list of all the kids in the neighborhood who would like to be called for pickup games of baseball, tag, kick the can etc etc. It took the better part of the day, but when we were all done we had 60 kids on the list.

I typed it up that night and distributed it via email. I only listed the child's name, age, street name and phone number. To maintain privacy, no house numbers or last names were included on the list. I organized the list alphabetically by street name so there could be what I called Street Captains. If Milo wanted to get a game of baseball going, he could call one kid on each street and say "You're the street captain. You need to call the rest of the kids on your street and see who can play." Then the kids would walk/bike to and from the park together in groups created on their streets.

Every parent I met told me what a great idea it was. With that kind of affirmation, I was sure Milo would be playing outside every day from now on. A couple weeks went by and nothing happened. After some thought, I figured they're not calling each other because they don't know each other.

To solve this I, with the help of two neighborhood parents, called everyone on the list inviting them to the baseball field that Friday night for a game of kickball followed by a showing of "The Sandlot" projected on the backstop.

The night of the big event, one of those parents was able to borrow a projector from their work and the other brought all the white bed sheets and clothespins she had. 18 kids showed up for kickball, half of which didn't know how to play the game, but everyone had fun. At least I know I had fun. I was running around playing game master, instructing play, keeping score and whatnot. I hadn't intended to be that involved. I assumed kids plus ball plus field would run itself til the sun went down.

Thank goodness for those 2 parents who helped call everyone. While I was playing game master, they hung the bed sheets on the backstop and ran an extension cord to the projector. I was able to quickly rig a sound system with some home stereo equipment before it got too dark.

The event was a huge success. I can't tell you how many parents said something to the effect of let's do this every week. Unfortunately, I had plans for the rest of the summer but I vowed to do it earlier and more regularly next summer.

This winter, I emailed everyone on the list stating I was creating an hockey rink on the pond. I explained I would need help flooding it. I received dozens of responses but only two concerned the rink initiative. The others commented on the movie and wanted to know when the next neighborhood movie night might be.

So it seems in my attempt to get kids outdoors and away from watching a screen, I only achieved by creating a screen outdoors. How funny is that?

Shuffle up and deal

To maintain your sanity, you need to hang out with other adults. Baby talk and cartoons can drive you bonkers if you don't mix in some adult comradery.

Times are tough but we can still have fun. And when I say fun, I mean the manly kind of fun. Time to play Texas Clip'em, otherwise known as Texas Hold'em stay at home dad style.

Tell your other stay-at-home-parent friends to start clipping grocery coupons. $50.00 in coupons is a very easy goal to reach especially if you download and print em from sites like couponcabin.com. One tip; clip coupons you think the other players might want. Your $3.00 off diaper coupon might be worth $5 to the right player. For instance, I'd gladly agree that a $3 off jerky coupon meets my $10 off baby formula bet because I love jerky and no longer need formula.

If you don't know how to play Texas Hold'em, take a minute to look up the rules and print or write the most valuable hands in their ranking order. For what it's worth, you can play any kind of poker with coupons. The nice thing about hold'em is you can have lots of players in one game with a single deck of cards. And it's a hugely popular game right now.

Anyway, you can play this game almost any time. You could even play while the kids watch "Wall-E" or "Nemo" or whatever they're into these days. You don't have to play until there's a single winner - but you can. Just make sure at the end of the game to ask if anyone wants to trade coupons. That way everyone can walk away a winner.

What to do when you can't go outside

In Minnesota, some days you just can't go out with the kids. Back to back 20 below zero days with even lower windchills just make it too dangerous to go out. So when you're stuck inside, make the best of it.

The best days for baking are cold days. Baking is a great opportunity to do some science and math with your kids as well as keep your house warm and smelling good. My oldest is getting a grasp of fractions because of cooking with dad. 1 1/2 cups is easier to understand when you can visualize it as 1 cup plus a half cup. The point is there are lots of avenues to take math out of the classroom and make it applicable to everyday activities. And having a heat-and-serve casserole or two on hand is so nice on days you don't have time to cook.

Baking is only going to hold their attention for the mixing of ingredients portion. So what I do while things are cooking in the oven is make couch cushion forts. Anyone can make arts & crafts or play board games, but it takes a big strapping dad to rearrange the living room. So once all the furniture is out of the way, pull the cushions off and stand them on their sides to form walls. Grab a bed sheet or a comforter and throw it over the walls to make a roof. The kids will have fun going in and out, filling it with their pillows and stuffed toys then wrecking it and rebuilding it. Oh, a little heads up, they also tend to jump on the furniture with the missing cushions as if they're trampolines. Anyway, the fort frees you up to tend to baked goods in the oven.

Before you put the room back together, you might want to try what I call Cirque De Dad. It's a great work out for me and I'm sure the kids get a workout just from laughing so hard. This is where you give your kids airplane rides and carefully let them land on the cushions. Lay on your back and have your kids get your feet and do leg presses. Or hold them in your hands and do bench presses. Just make sure if they happen to lean too far that they fall onto a soft cushion. Flip on your stomach and have the kids sit on your shoulders while you do push ups. Get creative but always be cautious. The physical activity is fun but can easily lead to a bruise or worse. Which can be a great opportunity to have the "rub some spit (or dirt) on it," "scars add character," "chicks dig scars" or my personal favorite talk, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."

Make your wife AND kids happy: tackle the honey-do list. Get out the tool box and have your kids re-organize it. Undoubtedly, they'll have questions about what a tool is called or what it's for. And if you're anything like me, you've got something on your honey-do list that's just the perfect place to demonstrate what that tool is for and why it's called what it is. Try and have your kids do as much as safely possible. And make sure the tools get put away when the project is finished.

Ok by now you're probably needing to do some less active things. Like I said earlier, anyone can do arts & crafts or play board games but it takes a dad to teach his kid(s) poker. I taught my oldest how to play poker when he was 5. He learned suits and card values from other games so it wasn't all that hard to teach poker. I still have to make a list of what hands beat what hands but he understands that hands beat hands because of odds. Five card draw is his game of choice. Anyway, we started out betting potato chips and M&Ms. Now he likes to toss in the occasionaly family chore. "I'll see your green M&Ms and raise you doin the dishes for a week." I gotta say, he's learned to bet only what he's willing to lose. And I'm proud of him for honoring his bets. A word of caution here, after teaching my son poker, I am a firm believer in beginner's luck. Straight, flush, royal flush and four of a kind... he's had 'em all and one time, all in one game.

Last thing I can suggest for something only dad can do with his kids. Do something mom wouldn't. I was 4 when the movie Star Wars came out and my parents took me to see it. They warned me it might be scary, and if it was too scary we could leave the theater at any time. When my son was 5, I thought time for the boy to learn about the force, but the wife had a different opinion. "...too much fighting, and Darth will give him nightmares." Well, he didn't get nightmares nor did any of the kids at his school. We seemed to have watched it at just the right time. Seems some animated version of Clone Wars was becoming popular. All the kids were talking about and my son was happy to be able to chime in.

Enjoy being a stay at home dad. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.

A guide for stay at home dads

In my 36 years of life, I have never met a guy that wanted to be a stay at home dad. It's understandable, our role models have always been hunter gatherer types. But with the economy what it is, more and more of us guys are realizing it's best to be at home. This blog chain is aimed to help guys make the transition.

To establish some street cred, I have to let you all know I'm a father of two boys ( 7 and almost 2). Both times my wife and I conceived I was gainfully employed, and for each birth I was very unemployed (both of my children were born in economic downturns). But what that means for you the reader is, this isn't my first rodeo if ya know what I mean.

My first piece of advice for you new to the position - get out as soon as you can. Take your kid(s) to a park. Go to the library. Immerse yourself in society. And try to do it before lunch, and if you can, again after lunch. There are a couple reasons why this is my first point. First of all, staying cooped up leads to massive emotional drama later in the day from both you and your little one(s). Second reason for getting out is you meet others like yourself. These other stay at home parents represent potential play dates, car pools, and my favorite - stimulating grown-up conversation.

Second piece of advice; don't break the routine. Kids find comfort in routine. Now that doesn't mean you have to do the exact same thing every day at the exact same time. The key is to have or create clear indicators that signify the next part of the routine. For instance, my mornings start with the Today Show. While I'm staying in touch with world issues and local weather, my sons are doing their morning routines. While I'm preparing lunch, I turn on the radio to the oldies station. After lunch, the radio is turned off and I read two books to my son which is his que to nap. And for dinner, I turn the radio to classical. These ques help my kids tell time, even if the time isn't exact from day to day and it makes my day so much more enjoyable.

Third piece of advice; hold your head up. Stay at home dad is an honorable position. You may not be bringing in the bacon like you used to, but you are providing a level of service that you can't put a price on. If you find yourself at a party and someone asks what you do, you may want to say something like "I used to be... and now I'm a stay at home dad." Or even, "I'm a stay at home dad while I look for a career in..." Both avenues allow you to discuss your experience in both corporate life and home life.

Which leads me to my fourth piece of advice; realize your title as stay at home dad is only a short term gig. Your kids will go to school. They will leave the house. Be sure you're not left with out-of-date skills, contacts and other relevant money making skills.

Fifth piece of advice; be a great spouse. When your wife comes home, meet her with a kiss and a smile. Have dinner ready and the house in reasonable order. Doing these simple things will create time for you and her to be together. That being said, I've been giving this blog some of the attention I should have been giving to my wife.

Add your thoughts and insights. I'd love to hear how a dad with girl(s) might agree or disagree compared to me with my 2 boys.