Pushing and letting go - Or - When the training wheels are off.

For my son's 5th birthday, we bought him his first bike. Compared to my first bike, a hand-me-down from my aunt outfitted with a banana seat, ape-hanger handle bars with pink and white streamers, his bike was greased lightning. His ride - royal blue, neon green, flame details, pads in all the right places, a water bottle and a racing number displayed in front. Any boy's dream bike right?

Well, the boy upon seeing the gift, hopped on for a photo-opp. We captured the huge smile and the excitement and then, as he was dismounting, he caught a foot and went splat, palms flat on the pavement. At that moment, the bike became a monster and I wished I'd have bought a Razor Scooter instead of a bike (more on this later).

He still had plenty of time to conquer his fear of the bike, so we didn't push the issue. The following year, shortly before his 6th birthday, his interest in riding picked up when he saw his friends riding without training wheels. He decided it was time to slay the beast... well, at least ride it with training wheels on.

A few weeks of riding with training wheels, and I thought he was ready to have the cheaters off. The training wheels may have comforted him but they worried me terribly. Steering with training wheels makes the rider top-heavy and there's a likelihood of catching a wheel in a groove.

The more I pushed learning to ride the bike, the harder he refused. I tried reasoning, "...look at all the people riding bike. I wonder why they do it? Probably because it's fun." I tried bribing, "if we do 15 minutes of bike, we'll have Dairy Queen." We even witnessed a kid taking a spill and getting right back on to ride away, "wow, must be really fun if he wants to get back on after a digger like that."

Another year passed.

My neighbor has a boy younger than my oldest and I saw him riding on two wheels. I asked his dad how he taught his son to ride. He said he didn't. He bought his son a Razor Scooter the year prior and that's where he learned to balance. One day he just picked up the bike and rode it. This was the 2nd time I had heard the Razor Scooter was the key to learning bike so I knew it wasn't a fluke.

So I ask my boy "ever tried one of those scooters." Silence. " What do you say we go get one of those fancy Razor Scooters? "No thanks."

The better part of summer passed and finally, I had enough. I made him practice on back the lawn 15 minutes a day. Somedays he just sat on the bike not really trying - just doing "his time." I think once he realized I wasn't pushing him to ride, or in other terms, I "let go" of caring so much he began to try.

Of course I was pretending not to care. I was watching the whole time; biting my tongue trying not to encourage or help.

After a bit I realized his struggles were steering in rough grass and keeping both feet on the pedals on bumpy ground. It was time to take him to the outdoor basketball court. He was terrified of going ker-plat on the pavement, but I showed him he could go into the grass if he felt he was losing control or wanted to stop.

On the walk to the park, I held on to the bike as he rode. He began to pedal and I released my control of the bike, keeping my hands near his torso until I felt he had "it." Before we even reached the basketball court, my son was riding unassisted.

As predicted, he loves riding. Can't get him off the bike now.

But for all the grief he put me through, I'm definitely getting a Razor Scooter for my next up-and-coming riders.

After it was all said and done. He wouldn't have got on the bike if I hadn't pushed the issue. And he wouldn't have learned to ride it if I hadn't let go.